Unit Content
Mentor Texts
The first part of the unit is all about reading, analyzing, and discussing mentor texts. Lattimer explains that when analyzing personal narratives students should be considering not only the events, but the author’s experience of the event.9 The class will follow the same progression throughout the first part of the unit. We will read a mentor text using the following guiding questions to frame our reading:
- What event did the author choose to include? What is the purpose of the event?
- What is the author’s experience of the event?
- What is the public point of this essay?
- What did the author do to engage the reader?
After reading and annotating the text (with these questions), we will discuss our answers and reactions. In addition, (but related to these four guiding questions) we will discuss the choices the author made. As Klinkenborg writes, “Every work of literature is the result of thousands and thousands of decisions. Intricate, minute decisions - this word or that, here or where, now or later, again, and again…Interrogate those choices. Imagine the reason behind each sentence. Why that choice of words? Why that phrasing?” 10 Students will consider the choices the author made. Why do you think they included this event? What did they do to make this an engaging text? Eventually they will be making these very choices in their writing.
After each discussion, students will write an in-class two paragraph response to the narrative answering the following questions, “What is the public point of this narrative? What choices does the author make when writing this narrative? How does this impact the reader?”
In the first part of the unit, we will not be going in depth about the specific writing strategies the authors use. That will be covered in the second part of the unit. That being said, the author's craft will probably come up organically in this first part of the unit. For example, when discussing how the author engages the reader, we may end up talking about imagery. And that is great! But we will not spend time defining and practicing that skill until the writing section. I will make a note of what writing techniques come up in these conversations. While I have a list of techniques that I plan to cover, I will remain flexible and add to my list if students bring up something I had not intended to discuss. We will revisit these mentor texts in the second part of the unit and students will be paying close attention to the author’s craft. Hopefully, with multiple exposures to the mentor texts students will continue to notice more and more about the writing.
“The Sanctuary of School” by Lynda Barry
This narrative tells the story of Lynda Barry running away from home as a young girl to avoid a hectic home life and absent parents. When she leaves home early in the morning, she goes to her school where she no longer feels invisible and is instead acknowledged by staff and teachers. Barry finds comfort in these caring adults and in creating art in her teacher’s room. She discusses the healing power of art and the detrimental cuts to school programming in the United States. This text is engaging, brief, and clear. She uses emotions to grab the reader’s attention. Barry opens her story with a powerful statement that engages the reader and then walks us through her background, key events, and then a final reflection. Barry has a clear public point in her text. Out of school time programming is essential for kids, especially the ones who may not have the necessary support and supervision at home. Students like Barry depend on before and after-school programming in public schools.
In her narrative, Barry details concrete events such as sleeping on the couch when relatives are staying at the house, sneaking out of the house in the early morning to go to school, encountering staff and teachers, and making art in the back of her teacher’s room. Students will notice that Barry does not simply recount these events but talks about her emotions and how she experienced these events. For example, one event is living in an overcrowded home filled with depression and anger. Barry’s response to this event is feeling invisible as if she was a child “with the sound turned off.” 11
“Fish Cheeks” by Amy Tan
Amy Tan’s narrative is a brief but powerful piece. It is written in clear and accessible language and offers a great entry point to the genre. In the text she discusses her crush on an American boy and her experience when her family invites his family over for Christmas dinner. Tan grapples with embarrassment about her family and culture, realizing only much later the importance of having pride in her family and identity. This story of trying to fit in, navigating family, and growing up is relatable to students even if they do not share the same cultural background.
The text narrows in on one event, Christmas dinner with her crush’s American family. She provides rich detail about this one moment in her life. As students will see, she not only recounts this moment, but is clear about her experience of the event and how she is filled with embarrassment and shame. She also offers a deeper public point about the importance of appreciating and loving your background, even when it makes you different. She emphasizes the importance of not trying to fit into American standards. Tan’s rich dialogue offers points of discussion as well. She writes, “My mother said to me ‘You want to be the same as American girls on the outside…but inside you must always be Chinese. You must be proud you are different. Your only shame is to have shame.”12 This not only demonstrates an effective use of dialogue, but also offers a discussion point around shame and owning your differences.
“Beauty: When the Other Dancer is the Self” by Alice Walker
In this narrative Alice Walker tells the story of growing up being praised for her looks and her “cuteness,” until an accident with a BB gun leaves her scarred and blind in one eye. She is devastated after the accident after losing what was her currency. Walker retreats into herself, declines in school and shies away from those around her. Later she gets her eye cosmetically fixed and develops a deep appreciation for her eyes and the sight she has. As Walker becomes a mother and sees herself through her daughter’s eyes, she begins to fully love herself and see the beauty that has been there all along. She can let go of the pain and embrace her beauty.
Students will clearly be able to not only identify the events, but Walker’s experience of these events, tracking her journey into self-love and acceptance. She is picked by her dad to go to the fair and she delivers a speech at a church (both experiences that make her feel cute and loved). Her brother hits her in the eye with a BB gun and she loses her “cuteness.” She does poorly in school and gets sent to live with her grandmother. Her young daughter comments on her eye and she starts to not only accept but see the beauty in her eye and herself.13 The themes of self-love, acceptance, and questioning beauty standards are relevant topics for high school students and will provide for a rich discussion.
“Superman and Me” by Sherman Alexie
In this text, Sherman Alexie reflects on his childhood, family, and learning to read. He discusses his life and education on a Native American reservation and the lack of opportunities for Native American youth. Once he teaches himself how to read, he reads everything he can get his hands on. Alexie contrasts his experience reading early with that of his peers in his school who were denied a quality education. Alexie discusses the fact that he never learned that people like him could become writers. He argues that reading and words can be transformative and unlock the knowledge needed to push through difficult circumstances. Alexie credits learning to read with saving his life.
This powerful narrative has a strong public point and is told in a way that is accessible for students. Alexie emphasizes the power of literacy and the ways education transformed his life. He offers anecdotes of learning moments from his life and comments on the lack of opportunities for Native Americans. Alexie writes, “We were Indian children who were expected to be stupid. Most lived up to those expectations inside the classroom but subverted them on the outside.”14 This can lead to discussion of the importance of education inside and outside school, representation, and the way low expectations harm students' progress.
“The Illusion of Safety/The Safety of Illusion” by Roxane Gay
In this text, Roxane Gay reflects on the use of trigger warnings today. She recounts the daily experiences in her life that trigger her and their physical and emotional impacts. She discusses the idea of safety and questions what if anything makes us safe. In classrooms where many students have experienced trauma, they will be able to relate to this piece and the feelings that Gay describes. Many students write narratives about trauma they have experienced, and Gay offers a way to discuss these experiences. Before reading this narrative, it is important to make sure that all students understand the definition of a “trigger warning.” In the spirit of trigger warnings, this piece discusses Gay’s experience of sexual assault and while she does not describe it explicitly, she alludes to that experience.
This text is useful for many reasons. While the ideas and themes are complex and mature, Gay writes in a straightforward language that is accessible to students of varying reading levels. While the events in this text are not as clear or explicit as in other texts, this offers room for discussion and interpretation among students. It offers a unique narrative and perspective. While Gay does not clearly recount her experience of traumatic events, she is clear in how day to day experiences haunt and trigger her as she moves through her life. This text will lead to rich discussions around the meaning behind the text and the purpose of her sharing this experience. What is Gay aiming to say in this text? What public point is she trying to make? What is she saying about safety? About trigger warnings? Do you relate to her arguments? Students can discuss how she gives clues along the way to describe her traumatic past and the effect that this has on the reader.
Writing
When the mentor texts are complete, students will move on to writing their personal narratives. Students will keep these texts in their binders, as we will continue to refer to them as they learn about different writing techniques and work to incorporate those techniques into their writing.
As we move to the writing portion of our unit, I will use “6+1 Traits of Writing” by Ruth Culham to organize and focus the writing instruction. In this unit I will focus on five of the techniques: ideas, organization, voice, word choice and sentence fluency. As a note, many writing skills I address can fall into multiple categories. For example, repetition could be addressed in voice or word choice. I have categorized skills in one possible way, but there are many other ways to organize them. In class, I will introduce the technique and provide the definition. As a class we will discuss qualities of the technique and then look through our mentor texts to identify how these authors approach each of the focus skills. For some lessons, I will guide students to look at all the texts, but in some I will point them to a specific text.
With each of these five techniques, students will have a guide where they will record the definition, fill out a chart of examples from the mentor texts, and record ideas for incorporating this skill into their own writing. Students will then revisit their own writing and revise it based on the lesson. After each revision, students will submit a new draft so that I can keep track of the changes they are making, and they can reflect on their growth at the end of the unit. We will spend approximately a week and a half on each writing technique.
Ideas
The writing portion of the unit will start with ideas. This is the essential first step because students need to know what they are writing about! Ideas refers to the content of the writing - the central message and the details that support that message.15 In this section, students will focus on finding a topic, narrowing their focus and using details.16
Selecting a topic is more nuanced than simply picking a topic and starting to write. Students need the opportunity to brainstorm, consider different ideas, and think through possible topics. This will help the students not only identify their topic, but make sure it is specific enough and they have enough details to fully explain and develop their narrative. For this assignment, students will select one of College Board’s Common Application questions. While the questions are slightly different each year, they are purposely broad and allow for students to talk about any meaningful experience. But not all ideas are good ideas for writing their personal narrative. Not every story or experience will work. Through brainstorming, mind mapping and plot diagramming (explained further in classroom activities), students will settle on a compelling story that provides the reader with a clear public point.
Once students have selected a topic, narrowed their focus, and written a plot diagram, they will write their first draft. This may be difficult for students as the writer’s block sets in. But that is simply part of the process! It is supposed to feel difficult. Writing is difficult! Anne Lamott argues that “Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts. You need to start somewhere. Start by getting something – anything – down on paper.”17 Similarly, Klinkenborg writes, “How do you begin to write? Look for a sentence that interests you. A sentence that might begin the piece. Don't look too hard. Just try out some sentences. Lots of them. See how they sound.”18 Students first need the opportunity to simply write. It will not be perfect. It may not even be good, but they need to get their thoughts down on paper and write their first draft. We will not be looking at mentor texts in this section but will visit these quotes from Lamott and Klinkenborg during the drafting process to inspire student writing…especially when it feels hard. Students will then submit their first draft.
Organization
The next writing technique is organization. Culham writes that:
Organization is the internal structure of the piece. Writing that is well organized unfolds logically from beginning to end. It starts with an introduction that creates a sense of anticipation for the reader. Events and information are presented in the right doses and at the right moments, so the reader never loses sight of the main idea. Transitions from one point to the next are strong. Well organized writing closes with a sense of resolution; the writer ties up loose ends and answers important questions, while leaving the reader with a thing or two to ponder.19
She divides organization into four distinct categories: creating the lead, using sequence words and transition words, structuring the body, and ending with a sense of resolution.20 We will start with the lead. When beginning a narrative, the writer should grab the reader’s attention from the start, providing hints of what is to come, and encouraging them to keep reading. Mary Jane Reed recommends a “grab-n-plop” technique where the writer starts by putting the reader in the action immediately. 21 William Zinsser writes that your lead “must cajole [your reader] with freshness, or novelty, or paradox, or humor, or surprise, or with an unusual idea, or an interesting fact, or a question. Anything will do, as long as it nudges his curiosity.”22
Students will look to all the mentor texts to see how the authors start their narratives. Barry starts her narrative with “I was 7 years old the first time I snuck out of the house in the dark.”23 Tan begins with “I fell in love with the minister's son the winter I turned fourteen.”24 Alexie writes “I learned to read with a Superman comic book.”25 Gay begins with “When I see men who look like him or his friends.”26 Walker begins with, “It is a bright summer day in 1947.”27 Students will notice that all these openings are concise sentences that give a hint as to what will come later. Some go right into the story, while others provide a preview of what is to come. We will discuss the similarities and differences of these openings and the impact they have on the reader. Using these as models, students will go back to their texts and revise their own opening statement, starting with a concise sentence that puts the reader right in the action.
Just as important as the opening of a text, and maybe even more difficult, is writing the ending. Zinsser writes, “A good last sentence - or last paragraph - is a joy in itself. It gives the reader a lift, and it lingers when the article is over.”28 Students will work to end their story with a sense of conclusion and resolution, wrapping up their story, but also leaving the reader with something to think about. To do this, students will revisit each of the mentor texts and reread the last paragraph. As they will observe, Tan ends her narrative with a clear lesson learned or public point, “It wasn't until many years later – long after I had gotten over my crush on Robert – that I was able to fully appreciate her lesson and the true purpose behind our particular menu. For Christmas Eve that year, she had chosen all my favorite foods.”29 While the other authors include clear lessons and messages, they do not state them as explicitly as Tan does in her narrative. For example, Alexie writes “I am trying to save our lives.” 30We can discuss the effects of these endings and the impact they have on the reader. What is the reader left thinking about? Is it a sense of closure? Does the reader want more? How does this ending communicate the public point of the text? I will pose the question to the students: what do you want to leave your reader thinking about? Are you going to say your lesson learned or public point in a direct way or indirect way? Do you want to end with a question? A powerful statement? Students will then go back to revise the ending of their narrative.
Next, we will look at sequence and transition words. Students must be able to connect their story so that it flows and is easy to follow. Culham writes that an author must “include a variety of carefully selected sequence words and transition words which are placed wisely to guide the reader through the piece by showing how ideas progress, relate, and/or diverge.”31 We will revisit the mentor texts to see the types of words they use to move from one idea to the next. As they read through the texts, students will record examples of transition words from these authors. In Tan’s narrative they will find more traditional transition words such as “when, on, and then, at the end, and after.”32 Alexie has a mix of traditional transitions such as “At the same time” and “I can remember” and non-traditional transitions such as “A smart Indian is a dangerous person, widely feared and ridiculed by Indians and non-Indians alike.”33 This is an opportunity to talk about the effect. Why does Alexie start his paragraph like this? How is it different from starting it with a transition such as, “I think” or using “After?” Students may notice that Barry does not use transition words between paragraphs, just puts the reader right into the action, walking them through her day. Walker’s narrative offers a clear model of organization. Walker tells her story through a series of personal anecdotes at different ages in her life. She clearly separates memories with “I am eight, and for the first time…I am twelve…I am fourteen…It is now thirty years since the “accident.” 34This clear delineation of time and progression serves as an excellent model for students and an alternative to an often overused “first, then, lastly.” Additionally, she uses a repeated “I remember” to separate memories in her life. Students will discuss why Walker chose to start in this way. How does this guide the reader through the story? Students will then go back into their own writing and add, revise, or remove transition words, using the mentor texts as inspiration. They will then submit their draft that has been revised for organization.
Voice
Voice, arguably one of the most important parts of writing, is one of the most difficult traits to teach. Culham defines voice as the “tone and tenor of the piece - the personal stamp of the writer, which is achieved through a strong understanding of the purpose and audience. Voice is the heart of and soul of the writing – it’s very life.”35 Zinsser writes that “what we want to see pop out of your papers — is individuality.”36 With voice, we are looking for the students’ personality to shine through, instead of a sterile and generic piece of writing. Something AI cannot produce!
For such an important quality, it can feel abstract to explicitly teach. Culham breaks down the qualities of voice into four categories. These categories are useful in teaching students to build and develop their voice: establishing a tone, conveying the purpose, creating a connection to the audience, and taking risks for creative voice.37 To help students understand voice, we will once again return to the mentor texts, looking specifically for these four qualities.
The first is establishing a tone. Culham says establishing a tone means that “the writer cares about the topic. The reader feels the writer’s conviction and authority.”38 This is an opportunity to revisit the tone of our mentor texts, specifically looking to answer the question, what is the tone of the piece? I will share a list of tone words to help students think about possible ways to describe the texts. How does the author feel towards this subject? How do you as the reader feel? Why? What in the piece makes you feel this way? Does the author care about the topic? How do you know? What in the text tells you they are passionate? They might say that Gay feels angry because her short sentences and repetition of “when” or Barry’s writing has a grateful tone because of the words she chooses to describe the school staff. They may note that Tan writes with a tone of embarrassment and reflection.
Students will have the opportunity to look back at their narrative. I will pose questions such as, what tone do you want to establish in your narrative? What will get you there? What do you need to add? What do you need to delete in your narrative? Students will make edits to their writing based on this reflection. For example, if a student says they want their narrative to have an inspiring tone, they will have to think about what words will communicate inspiration. What types of sentences communicate inspiration?
Next, we will look at the author's purpose. According to Culham, author’s purpose means the “writer makes clear his or her reason for creating the piece.”39 Students have already discussed the purpose or meaning of the narrative texts in the first part of the unit, but we will revisit. They will also have an opportunity to reflect on their purpose for writing this narrative. What is your reason (besides being a required assignment) for writing this piece? Why did you pick this particular experience? What are you trying to communicate? What point are you trying to make? How can you make your purpose clear to the reader? Students will reflect on this question in writing and further in class discussion.
Students will then focus on connection to the audience. This is where students come in as the experts. They are the audience of our five mentor texts. Questions will include: Did you feel connected to this mentor text? What did the author do to make you feel connected? They might say that they do not feel a connection towards a certain piece. And that is okay! I will challenge them to explain why. How could the writer better connect to the audience? What would make you want to read this? They may point out that Gay and Barry use strong emotions to connect to their audiences. Tan uses humor as well as relatable content. Walker uses emotions and specific stories. Alexie uses honesty to connect with his audience along with a message of inspiration. Students will reflect on how they want to connect to their audience. Do they want to inspire their audience? Make an emotional connection? Connect with them through relatable experiences? Use humor? Students will then go back in their text to ensure they are making that connection whether it is through sentimentality, humor, inspiration, or another emotion.
Finally, we will talk about taking risks in writing. Most writing instruction in school centers around following rules and writing with a specific structure in mind. We often teach students to write in a formulaic way. Personal narratives are an opportunity to break out of the box. Culham argues that taking risks is a crucial and necessary part of developing your voice as an author.40 This is something new and potentially exciting for students. This is a chance to try new words, phrases, and maybe break some of the grammatical rules.
Students will revisit the mentor texts looking at ways authors have broken the rules. They may point to Gay’s use of one-word sentences such as “But.” or “And yet.” and “When. When. When.”41 This was a choice she made. Why? What is the effect on the reader? Why do you think she wrote a one-word sentence? They might look at a comparison that Alexie makes in his writing. He says, “I began to think of everything in terms of paragraphs. Our reservation was a small paragraph within the United States. My family's house was a paragraph.”42 Does that metaphor make complete sense? Or is it out of the ordinary? Why do you think he chose to use the word paragraph? This is a word we use strictly for writing, but he is using it to describe physical places. They may look at Alexie’s repetition, “I am smart. I am arrogant. I am lucky.”43 Students will collect a list of ways the mentor texts “took risks” in their writing. They may look at the way Alice Walker inserts a poem in her narrative. After collecting examples throughout the mentor texts, students are ready to incorporate their own voice into their draft. They will use at least one strategy from the mentor text and work to mimic it in their own writing. This could be repetition, fragments, one-word sentences or another strategy they notice. Students will submit their draft that is revised for voice.
Word Choice
There is a lot to cover when it comes to the next trait, word choice. I will break it down into two categories: “show not tell” and using concise language. Instruction will begin with a shared definition of “show not tell”: writing using descriptive language to show the reader what is happening, rather than simply telling them what happened. Jennifer Renner Del Nero writes that “for young authors, learning to show using vivid sensory detail is paramount in their writing journeys. A primary difference between skilled and novice writers is that skilled writers show, or paint a picture for the reader to visualize, but novice writers often convert the task into telling about the topic.”44 According to Latimer, writers incorporate show not tell, “through the character’s actions, the character’s dialogue, the character’s thoughts, comparisons, and descriptive language.”45 I will use these five areas to categorize show not tell instruction.
Students will revisit the mentor texts to find examples of each of these techniques (on a chart), first as a class and then individually. There will be many overlaps among these five categories. For example, an author may write their inner thoughts using descriptive language. It does not matter so much what “category” of show not tell this falls into, as long as the student can identify that this is an example of an author using descriptive words to paint a picture for their reader.
With that in mind, we will start by looking at the first two paragraphs of Roxane Gay’s piece. In this they will notice the way Gay does not tell the reader she is triggered, instead she shows it using descriptive language: “When I smell beer on a man’s breath. When I smell Polo cologne. When I hear a harsh laugh. When I walk by a group of men, clustered together, and there's no one else around…When it happens I feel this sharp pang that runs right through the center of my body. Or I get nauseous. Or I have to vomit.” Students will discuss the effect of these details. How do these details add to the writing? What does this make the reader feel? What would she have written if she were simply “telling?” How would that impact the reader?
In the second paragraph, she writes “I feel this sharp pang that runs right through the center of my body. Or I get nauseous. Or I have to vomit. Or I break into a cold sweat.” 46 What is she telling the reader? How does she show it instead? It is not about using more words, it is about using stronger, more descriptive and specific words. How does this engage the reader?
We will move on to Barry’s story to look at the following excerpt from the beginning of the text, “The morning I snuck out, I woke up filled with a panic about needing to get to school. The sun wasn’t quite up yet but my anxiety was so fierce that I just got dressed, walked quietly across the kitchen and let myself out the back door. It was quiet outside. Stars were still out. Nothing moved and no one was in the street. It was as if someone had turned the sound off on the world.” 47 Students should notice the descriptive language, the character thoughts, and the comparison made in the last sentence. She did not just tell the reader that it was early morning, and she was the only one outside, rather she showed it through details.
We will also focus on the last sentence of that excerpt, “it was as if someone had turned the sound off on the world.”48 This is a clear model of figurative language (simile), and we will discuss the ways a comparison can help paint a picture for the reader. Students will move on to the other texts, possibly finding dialogue in Walker’s story, character thoughts and actions in Alexie’s narrative, and descriptive details in Tan’s writing.
Tan’s use of imagery makes for an engaging story and a clear example of descriptive language. Tan describes the food her family makes for Christmas. She writes, “She was pulling Black veins out of the backs of fleshy prawns. The kitchen littered with appalling mounds of raw food: A slimy rock cod with bulging eyes that pleaded not to be thrown into a pan of hot oil. Tofu, which looked like stacked wedges of rubbery white sponges.”49 These rich details bring this story to life. Students will discuss, what is the purpose of these details? What is the impact? How does it add to her message and the story as a whole? How would the story be different if she said, “Pulling veins out of shrimp. Throwing a fish into oil. A stack of tofu?”
Students will look to Tan and Walker’s pieces to identify how they use both dialogue and inner thoughts effectively. Students will then revisit their narratives and ensure they are incorporating show not tell in each of the five categories: character’s actions, character’s dialogue, character’s thoughts, comparisons, and descriptive language.
Word choice is not just about using the best words but also being selective about the words you chose. Richard Marius advises writers to “use as few words as possible to say what you want to say. This principle does not mean that you write to sound like a first-grade reader. It does not mean that you write only bland and simple thoughts. On the contrary, if you have complicated thoughts, you may have to use complicated language to express them.”50 Students often think the more they write the better, but clear concise writing is just as important. After discussion, and examining examples, students will go through their writing eliminating unnecessary words. After revising for word choice, they will submit their draft.
Sentence Fluency
The final writing trait, sentence fluency, is about how “words and phrases flow through the piece.”51 Students will work on varying their sentence types and the rhythm of their sentences.52 They will return to repetition and explore how that creates rhythm. In this section it is especially important to read the texts out loud to see how they flow and recognize the rhythmic language.
When students vary sentence types, they use simple, compound, and complex sentences to construct their story. Zinsser writes, “when you must write long sentences, balance them with short sentences to give readers some relief.”53 It is not just about relief, varying sentence types makes the text more interesting to read. According to Culham, writers create fluency by “employing different types of sentences within a single piece. Compound sentences add detail, immerse the reader in information, and reinforce a point. Short, declarative sentences to drive that point home. And fragments? Writers might use them to isolate an important thought and make the reader stand up and take notice of it.”54
They will look at Walker’s essay and the way she starts her paragraphs with simple sentences and then longer detailed sentences. “It is a bright summer day in 1947. My father, a fat, funny man with beautiful eyes and a subversive wit, is trying to decide which of his eight children he will take with him to the county fair. My mother, of course, will not go. She is knocked out from getting most of us ready: I hold my neck stiff against the pressure of her knuckles as she hastily completes the braiding and the ribboning of my hair.55” What is the impact of the simple sentences paired with a complex sentence?
Students will revisit the repeated fragments at the end of Alexie’s narrative when he says, “ I throw my weight against their locked doors. The door holds. I am smart. I am arrogant. I am lucky. I am trying to save our lives.”56 What makes those sentences powerful? Why repeat “I am” over and over? What rhythm does that create for the reader? How does that repetition paired with short declarative sentences add to the message?
Gay offers a clear model of varying sentence length and repetition. She expertly uses a combination of simple and complex sentences as well as fragments and strategically repeats words. In the first two paragraphs she repeats “When I…” and “Or I…”57 Students can discuss this use of anaphora and the impact on the reader. What does she want the reader to focus on? What rhythm does it create? What does it feel like to the reader?
As students move to revise their own writing for sentence fluency, they will address the following questions: Do my sentences begin in different ways? Are my sentences different lengths? Are my sentences grammatically correct unless constructed creatively for impact? Have I used conjunctions such as but, and, so to connect parts of sentences?58
Ideally students are reading their personal narratives over and over in this revising process, but at the end they will review their writing a final time. The most effective way to revise their writing is by reading their writing out loud. Klinkenborg writes that
“One basic strategy for revision is becoming a stranger to what you’ve written.
Try reading your work aloud.
The ear is much smarter than the eye,
If only because it is slower.
Try reading the words on the page as though they were meant to be spoken plainly
To a listener who is both you and not you –
An imaginary listener seated not too far away.[...]
Don’t read straight without stopping.
Read until your ear detects a problem.
Stop there.
How will you know there's a problem?
Something will sound funny.
You’ll simply feel that something's wrong, without knowing what.”59
With final revisions and a checklist on formatting, students will submit their personal narratives. They will end the unit with a final reflection, looking back at the techniques they used to improve their writing and comparing their original draft to the final submission. We will also have a final share out, with each student reading their favorite paragraph or line of their personal narrative out loud.
Comments: