The Art of Writing and Revision

Content Objectives: 

This unit is intended to take two weeks. Since I plan to teach this unit in the beginning of the school year, students will strengthen their writing skills as the year progresses. 

Students will work towards answering the following essential questions in this unit: 

1. What experiences shape who I am as a writer? 
2. How can word choice and sound devices change a sentence?
3. How can repeated writing practice help shape my writer’s voice? 
4. How can studying mentor texts help me improve my craft as a writer? 

For the final assessment of this unit, students will reflect on how their personal experiences shape their identity. This unit falls within the 7th grade Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Company (HMH) Into Literature curriculum’s overarching unit question: “How do actions define us?” This final writing task will require students to revise one of the prompts that they wrote during the first week of the curriculum. Importantly, the writing practice described below can be continued throughout the school year using a variety of mentor texts, mini-lessons, and prompts. The curriculum can also be adapted for students in high school or elementary school students by changing the mentor text or craft move in focus. 

Craft moves

Craft moves are the intentional style and word choices that an author considers while writing. These moves, while perhaps seeming to a reader like natural, unconscious features of any composition, are intentional decisions that an author makes to evoke an emotional response in the reader. Teaching students to question the sentences they write and consider how the tone and style can change by changing the placement or selection of a word is a valuable practice when teaching writing and grammar. Writers create specific effects through word choices or varied or repeated sentences patterns. Readers may experience positive emotions like hope or compassion, or feel negative emotions like suspense and fear based on the word choice an author uses. Writers can place emphasis on ideas through the craft moves that guide the reader, which also helps readers determine what is important to focus on in a piece.

Throughout my research, one idea stands out: in Verlyn Klinkenborg’s words, “You can only become a better writer by becoming a better reader.”⁹ Teaching my students how to think like writers and how to recognize an author’s word choices, or how to mimic an author’s structure will help them grow. Using a variety of excerpts from longer texts, students will practice imitating and noticing an author’s craft moves. Further, students should be encouraged to notice and question unconventional moves in an author’s craft.¹⁰ Through repeated analysis of mentor passages for their craft, students benefit as readers and writers. “The more we teach students to notice writer’s craft, the more likely they will begin to use craft moves in their own writing.”¹¹ One way to practice this skill is to have students focus on the construction of the sentences they create by substituting different words to create a new rhythm.¹²

Micro-mentor texts

Rather than selecting longer passages, the mentor texts in this unit are excerpts from texts, sometimes as small as a single sentence. By selecting smaller texts to focus on, teachers will help students more easily discover the intentional and often very nuanced decisions that authors make when crafting sentences. Students can read a wider variety of texts and observe multiple examples of craft moves when they concentrate their analysis at the sentence level. While each micro-mentor text is introduced with some context to students, the primary focus is about getting students to notice the craft moves that they later will imitate in their own writing.

For this unit, I selected excerpts from passages that relate to two different aspects of identity: environment and relationships. In each of the pieces, students will analyze and discuss the author’s craft before imitating the style of writing. The excerpts, although thematically connected, serve the primary purpose of being models for the following craft moves: sound devices, word choice, and other elements, such as narrative style. Later, as part of the culminating unit assessment, students will pick one of the prompts they wrote to practice the art of revision. The writing prompts outlined below are designed to get students to reflect on their own past experiences and actions. Importantly, they also give students opportunities to practice imitating craft moves in their own writing.

“The School Environment” through Sound Devices

Thematically, each of the texts below describe school environments. As a primary focus, the mentor passages selected can be used to teach students about the impact of sound devices. One craft move that would be beneficial to pre-teach to students is the sound device alliteration. Alliteration is “formed by repeating the same sound at the beginning of successive words…”¹³ The sounds are conveyed in the reader’s mind through very concrete language. This language may elicit specific memories and experiences of sound. One can begin by reading the passages aloud with students so they can hear the sound effects. Then, consider having students imitate alliteration as a craft move as they reflect on how their own environment impacts their actions. 

Mentor Passage #1: “Land of the Cranes” by Aida Salaza

For mentor texts that reveal a setting, Kittle suggests an excerpt from the passage “Land of the Cranes” by Aida Salaza.¹⁴ In the passage below, Salaza describes a school environment. 

“I know my school’s shiny floors 

a broken water fountain 

and boxed chocolate milk 

I buy for fifty cents. 

I know Ms. Martinez

and her

happy handshakes 

at her door 

before each fourth grade morning.” 

The concrete objects described help paint a picture for the reader; the “broken water fountain” and the “shiny floors” help readers envision the school. Abstract nouns and adjectives, in contrast, would be harder for readers to visualize. Students may notice the line breaks in the writing, or the repetition of the phrase “I know” to introduce places and people. The alliteration of the phrase “happy handshakes” creates an upbeat mood. The class might consider what would happen if the word “happy” was replaced with another word of similar or even different meaning. Asking students what they notice in the passage will also spark rich conversation about sentence structure and intentional word choice. 

After analyzing this prompt with students, educators can ask students to describe their own school environment. Students should first consider what they want readers to understand through the description of this place. They can then consider what actions occur in this setting. Students can practice adding sound devices to further convey the mood of the place they are describing, or the way they act in the environment.

Mentor Passage #2: “I am Malala” by Malala Yousafzai

A second mentor text that I plan to use with my students is from the text, I am Malala, by Malala Yousafzai. This is a memoir that most of my students read the previous year, so they will have background knowledge on Malala and her story as an activist fighting for educational rights. Students should understand before reading the excerpt the value that Malala and her classmates place on education despite the societal challenges that she and her classmates face. 

“The chaos of Mingora city surrounded us with its honking horns and factory noises while we worked silently, bent over our papers in hushed concentration.”¹⁵ 

Sound recreates and animates. When introducing sound in an author’s craft to students, one should always begin with reading and hearing the passage aloud. Students may notice the alliteration in the phrases “honking horns” and “while we worked.” Sound also shapes emotion, and hearing the sound effect that words can create is the closest people will ever get to recreating an experience. Students may consider the impact of the word “chaos” to describe the city, or the word “hushed” to describe a heightened state of concentration while the girls are studying. What specifically does the adjective “hushed” add to the meaning of the sentence? Students may notice the “shh” sound, which further emphasizes the value Malala and her classmates place on education. The sound in the word gradually fades, which highlights the students’ concentration.

Students can be taught to revise a piece with a different sound in mind. Writers can think about how they want readers to feel, which can empower students to take control of their writing. Teachers may ask students to describe a place in their own lives. How would you describe the people in the space? What sounds might people hear in the place? What verbs capture that sound? Teaching students to establish a setting in their writing is key, and selecting words that convey a specific sound and meaning helps readers visualize and understand the significance of a place.

“Relationships” and Word Choice

Thematically, each of the texts portray the relationship between a parent and child. The mentor passages selected below can be used to teach students about the impact of intentional word choice to create emphasis. There are three key terms that would be helpful to pre-teach to students prior to analyzing the mentor texts. First, the term anaphora, which “involves the repetition of the same word or words at the beginning of successive phrases, clauses, or sentences, often using climax and parallelism.”¹⁶

Secondly, strong verbs are another craft move skilled writers often use. When teaching the importance of precise verbs as a craft move, it is important to distinguish between active and passive voice. Active voice is when “the subject of the sentence is the one doing the action expressed by the verb”¹⁷ Passive voice, in contrast, is “typically formed with a form of the verb be” and it often doesn’t convey the same imagery compared to a sentence written in active voice. Encourage students to use active voice to strengthen their narrative style.

A final craft move that may be important to pre-teach is polysyndeton. Polysyndeton, defined as “the use of a conjunction between each word,” is used to create emphasis and often “produces the feeling of a deliberate piling up.”¹⁸ In the model text below, the conjunction “and” is repeated. When teaching this term to students, it may be helpful to make sure they understand that “but” and “or” are two additional words that can be used to create a similar effect when used repeatedly.

Consider having students imitate the craft moves seen below while also having them write about the impact that relationships have in their lives. 

Mentor Passage #1: “The Flight of Icarus,” by Sally Benson

In the short story “The Flight of Icarus,” a myth retold by Sally Benson, father and son, Daedalus and Icarus, attempt to escape an island where both are prisoners. To escape, the characters create wings out of feathers and wax so they can fly, mimicking the movements of the birds in the text. While Daedalus travels safely to Sicily, Icarus flies too close to the sun, causing the wax on his wings to melt. Icarus strays from his father’s advice, and he descends from the clouds, plummeting to his death, reminding readers of the importance of understanding limitations. When reading this text, the instructional focus is on characters and their actions, the text features of a myth, and the thematic lessons that readers gain from the text. To help students improve in their abilities as writers, the instructional focus will also include paying attention to the word choice and sensory details the author used.

“Soon Icarus was sure that he, too, could fly and, raising his arms up and down, skirted over the white sand and even out over the waves, letting his feet touch the snowy foam as the water thundered and broke over the sharp rocks.”¹⁹

The phrases “snowy foam” and “sharp rocks” add contrasting sensory details that contribute to the playfulness and danger in the tone of the text.²⁰ Highlighting such craft moves will help students start to notice word choice, which, in turn, will improve their reading and writing abilities. These mentor sentences can also be used to help students see the impact of strong verbs. When focusing on different verbs, students can be encouraged to underline the verbs in a piece (a model text and, later, their own) and ask: Are they precise? Accurate? Vivid? Can I think of better verbs?²¹ Kittle explains that verbs are visual.²² Words like schooled, grabble, ground-and-pound, strike, and submit all create a picture for a reader. In “The Flight of Icarus” text example above, strong verbs like “raising,” “skirted,” and “thundered” help readers visualize Icarus’s movements.

Teachers can ask students to write about a moment in their own lives, focusing on using strong verbs to describe the moments. For example: Write a sentence using a visual verb and a sentence using a passive verb. How does it change the meaning of the sentence? 

Mentor Passage #2: “First-Day Fly,” by Jason Reynolds

The mentor passage “First-Day Fly” Jason Reynolds tells the story of a young boy preparing his outfit for the first day of school. In the text, the boy’s older brother gives him a hand-me-down pair of jeans – the young boy’s favorite pair of jeans – to wear for the first day of school. The boy’s actions describe all the ways this young boy prepares for the first day of school. He steams his clothes, cleans his shoes, and stands in the mirror with the outfit he anticipates wearing. In the excerpt that follows, the boy is in the process of steaming his new t-shirt to make it look perfect when his mom tells him it’s time to get out of the bathroom.

“Even though,

even though,

e v e n t h o u g h

she was the one who taught you the shower steam trick in the first place. Taught you how to make fresh look like you and not a first day of school costume. But she’s still your mother. So when she says turn the shower off, you turn the shower off.”²³

Teachers may first lead a discussion on the impact that the older people in our lives have on our actions and identity. Then, ask students what they notice in the sentences. Many might first notice forms of repetition. Teachers can ask follow-up questions like does the repetition present itself in the beginning, middle, or end of the sentences? Teachers may point out that anaphora is repetition placed in the beginning of a phrase or sentence. Ask students what role does repetition play in the above sentences? Students will likely point out that “even though” is not only repeated, but there are letters intentionally capitalized or spaced out as the word continues to be used. Readers may conclude that “even though” is spaced out to show the thought process of the boy. Perhaps he was angry at first, but his reaction changes as he thinks about the impact his mother has on his life. Teachers can also discuss the repetition of the phrase “turn the shower off” and the impact of the metaphor comparing clothing to a “costume.” Finally, teachers may encourage students to count the syllables in the words. The words “shower,” “mother,” and “costume” are the only two syllable words. The rest of the words in the sentence are one syllable words. Teachers may consider why the author places emphasis on these words. Consider how the one syllable words reveal the age of the narrator. 

Teachers may encourage students to write about a key person in their own lives. What phrases does this person often use? What have you learned from this individual? Encourage students to incorporate a form of repetition in their writing and remind students that repetition is used to emphasize meaning. 

Mentor Passage #3: “Mother to Son,” by Langston Hughes

In the poem “Mother to Son” by Langston Hughes, a mother provides life advice to her son. This extended metaphor compares life’s challenges and to a crystal stair. Racial inequities and hardships are key themes presented, and the importance of perseverance is a central idea throughout the text.

Students may notice the multiple conjunctions (And, and, and) placed closely together. This literary device, known as polysyndeton, creates a fast-paced effect, and it also emphasizes the hardships the mother experienced in her life. Ask students to consider how the repetition creates a sense of fatigue in the first and second stanza, but a sense of hope in the third. The parallel structure seen above is used to make a point, and the contraction “But” breaks the repetition in its meaning and sound. The word “But” alerts readers to the change in the poem’s message and tone. Building off the previous lessons, students may take note of the repeated “t” sounds throughout the poem, which create a feeling of constraint, and which further emphasize the hardships detailed in this poem. Teachers may ask students why an apostrophe replaces many of the “g” verbs in the poem. Lead students in a discussion on what can be implied about the speaker of the poem. Since keeping the “g” in the ending of these words could have created a further sense of constraint in the sounding of this poem, readers can infer that Hughes wanted to create a feeling of familiarity, making the mother’s advice seem more casual, highlighting the significance of their relationship.

When teaching this text, teachers may ask students how advice from a relative, teacher, or mentor inspired them. How did the advice impact their actions? Encourage students to use a form of polysyndeton in their writing, or if capturing a negative moment, encourage students to use harder sounds like “g” “j” and “t” to create a sense of constraint. Have students write about negative experiences, experimenting with words and phrases that create an “ugly” sound.

Model texts: Next steps

The framework described above can be recreated using mentor texts within an existing curriculum, repeated as a part of a year-long practice. As students strengthen their writing skills, teachers may also consider using exemplary student writing as a mentor text to analyze. The more students practice the skill of imitating sentences and thinking like a writer, the more empowered they will feel. By practicing various craft moves, students will develop stronger sentences with clearer meanings. Students find their voices as writers by studying and imitating mentor texts. With consistent, daily practice, students will also find joy in the art of writing and revision.